Fat is Now Fun
November 22, 2009 by Myer Thompson
Filed under Travel
Running is a bummer. Jumping is out of the question. And anything more than a brisk pace is asking a lot. Being fat is a stone cold drag. Being fat is no fun. Nothing puts a damper on your day like an extra ten or twenty pounds slathered around your gut. It limits your options in life and narrows your field of vision.
Fancy buying a new pair of pants? New jeans? Want to fit into that Gucci gown? Well, when you carrying around the flesh roll, it makes looking svelte impossible. Sure, the game is stacked in favor of the androgynous skeletal types — but that just the way it’s always been.
No one really likes to sweat. It’s a total wet drag. It’s not very elegant or chic. But, if you want to break down the lipids keeping you from looking like that hunky celebrity who makes millions of dollars for pretending to be a super spy, you’ll have to break a sweat. A really big sweat.
Stop rolling around in your own vat of self-loathing. If you’re happy with who you are and where you’re going, then stop reading and enjoy your life. What’s it prove if you can look like the next canned celebrity or athlete? You’re you — revel in it. But, if you’re completely miserable and manage to drag everyone else down into the dumps with you, you might want to put the Kettle Chips aside and start some light calisthenics.
The whole weight loss and fitness process has become something inhuman — robotic even. You’ve got body mass indexes, target heart rates, and optimal weight loss matrices. If exercising was ever fun, it’s now a lame laboratory experiment. So, it doesn’t matter what you do. It may matter more where you do it. Find the right spot, the right groove, and get cracking. Need some inspiration? Try a little town in Northern California called Roseville.
Of course you’ve never heard of the place. Few people have. But, somehow it’s become known as the “the skinniest city in America.” The residents have a combined body mass index (yeah, one of those things) of 24.5. Keep in mind the national average clocks in around 30. Book a room in Roseville, bring your sweat gear, and pop in your favorite Tae Bo tape.
If you’re looking to get fit, set aside a few months and book yourself into Roseville hotel quick-like. You’ve never heard of the place, but it’s the place to be if you’re looking for some weight-loss love.
